Friday, January 23, 2009

Life and just more challenges but cannot give up!


I have made it through my cervical fusion of two levels and finally it will be a month today and everyday is so much better...I waited almost 8 years to do this and when I could no longer use my arms it was time...my left arm came back great....to bad I am not left handed! I was sent to the Orthopedic Surgeon this week at Rush and once again another challenge! He feels it is my rotator cuff that is causing me not to be able to move or use my arm hardly...I spent the day crying on the way home and had to handle another trial...only to be thrown into a bigger one last night! I came home and my husband who is disabled laid down and told me he had to tell me something...at times you just never know what Kerry is going to say as he has front brain damage from medical negligence and chronic pain...life has been needless to say a difficult 10 years but I was not ready for this one..he has had problems for a few months and he doesn't always tell me until it is really bad and he has been to the ER twice now and to his urologist several times...my dad took him on Wed. while I went to Chicago...they had called in the morning to cancel a CT scan and needed more blood work done...he told me that they think he has cancer and now they are trying to figure out what kind of cancer! I woke up at 2 a.m. once again with a plate full but I know I have to give this back to God as it is too much for me to carry....I cannot have an MRI until 6 weeks are past my surgery date due to the hardware they put in me so my MRI is Feb. 6 and Kerry's CT scan is Jan. 30....Lindsay came home last night to be here for my birthday this weekend...hard to believe I am going to be 48...where did those years go? So quickly even with all we have had to do..I remember turning 38 and Kerry just becoming disabled..it was so frightening when they told me he was never going back to work...I was 38 with three small girls...ages 7, 9 and 12....We made it and it is now 10 years later! Life has changed, friends have come and gone, family has changed, but so thankful for my parents that are there day or night at 84 and 85..every morning they wait for my phone call between 6-7 a.m. You know trials change a person but it hasn't been all that bad...I have seen the good in a lot of people and I have seen how many cannot handle hard things...it makes you stronger and more determined in life to keep fighting even on those days when you think I cannot keep going one more day...I had big plans for 2009..it surely was not going to start off like this but each day is a gift! hugs, cheryl

P.S. Lindsay was accepted to Nursing school in Springfield, MO...she will be getting her own place in May with a friend and start in the fall! That is awesome to see how far she has come!

5 comments:

Vanessa said...

Hello Cheryl!! I am so sorry to hear all this is going on :( I am praying for you. We are having hard times here as well. No jobs and no unemployment either! It's a scary time right now. God bless you!

Merry's Musings said...

God Bless you and your hubby cheryl, I am so sorry to hear about your hubby's new trial. I am praying. So proud of your daughter, good job!

Amy said...

I'm so sorry Cheryl. You are in my prayers. I hope that you can still have a happy birthday despite all that is going on.

Way to go Lindsay!!!

Blessings and prayers!

littlethings1 said...

Cheryl
You have an adorable family! You can be so proud of your daughters!I am so sorry for your situation , you are amazing and I know that God can and will hold you in His arms. You will continue to be in my prayers!
A big giant hug to you !
Eunice

ginabee said...

Dear Cheryl, You are so beautiful, inside and out. On my hard days I think about you especially, you've rubbed off on me!
Prayers for you and husband.
I'm going to the Dr. in Feb. She treats Fibro with anti-virals for 2 months.