Diskitis..my mom called and told me this is on the MRI..waiting to hear back from the doctors..I knew it was not good!

Diskitis is an inflammation of the vertebral disk space often related to infection. Infection of the disk space must be considered with vertebral osteomyelitis, as these conditions are almost always present together and share much of the same pathophysiology, symptoms, and treatment. Although diskitis and associated vertebral osteomyelitis are uncommon conditions, they are often the causes of debilitating neurologic injury. Unfortunately, morbidity can be exacerbated by a delay in diagnosis and treatment of this condition. The lumbar region is most commonly affected, followed by the cervical spine and, lastly, the thoracic spine.

this is just so strange as I felt something is wrong once again and when I called for the MRI report she told me she had to wait for the doctor to sign off before she could send it but it would be going to the doctors shortly and then they would fax me..I had a weird feeling today..then today someone told me how a hospital should be built in Plainfield..well, tears just came to my eyes as I told them how strange that all of these past two weeks has been the 10 year anniversary and look where we are at..Hospitals, MRI's and Neurosurgeon offices as usual but right at the day's of the anniversary's..she felt bad I could tell and I said if only the truth had come out I could handle it but I have to live with the mistakes and no one can fix them..no one..then my mom and I went home after shopping for a Christmas tree as we needed one that is easier to put up as now Kerry cannot help and my arms are so bad ...I crawled into bed and crashed and mom called a few hours later to tell me what the fax read....my heart sank as I knew that word was not good news...I told her to wait till I turned on the computer and sure enough when I googled it I was right...all the terms and medical things we lived through are facing us for the fourth time with Kerry! I had tears coming down my face and my mom told me to remember to be greatful in all things..just like my mom would say to me at this time..I told her I have learned to say thanks a lot lately to God and what do you think when you have this facing you again? I told her I need to leave a message for the doctor and she told me I could probably still get him..he was still in surgery but the girls are so kind up there and told me they would leave the message on his desk along with Kerry's MRI report...just waiting tonight ...........Kerry is scheduled for his new interthecal pump on Monday but now all of this might change once again! hugs and prayers, cheryl

Making Ends Meet! Dec. 1st is here...where did this year go?

Making Ends Meet

"Therefore do not worry, saying, "What shall we eat?" . . . For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things."
- (Matthew 6:31-32 NKJV)

Sometimes, the simplest promises are the most difficult ones to accept. For instance, God has promised to provide for the basic needs of His people. Food, shelter, clothing . . . God guarantees to give all of these things to those who seek Him. He's a Father, and as such it's in His nature (and well within His means) to see to it that His children have what they need.?



And yet, if there's one aspect of life that keeps Christians awake at night, it's this one. ?How are the bills going to get paid? How am I supposed to keep pace with the rising cost of living? Why can't I ever get ahead? This is the sort of anxiety that Jesus is commanding us to not have.



He tells us the Gentiles (who were the equivalent of unbelievers) live in constant worries about these things. We have something that the Gentiles don't have: a relationship with a Heavenly Father who has promised to make our ends meet. So it's time we started acting like it.



The same God who commands us not to lie, steal, covet, and murder commands us to not worry about where our provision will come from. It is sin to do so because He has promised to meet our needs and cover our lack. By worrying, we're essentially accusing God of lying to us. But to trust Him on this promise is to declare that He is faithful and true.


I just woke up to call and see if Lindsay got in ok and they just got back at 2 a.m. safe~ I guess you never stop worrying as a mom...I can't even imagine being my parents always wondering how we are going to make it each month...they know that God provides but so hard the last 10 years then this past month now the Food Pantry we had been getting food at stopped letting us get food right at the worst time of the year! It seems like it just always is something but it keeps you humble..then the surgery's and wondering how can Kerry make it through any more and the years of legal we went through and why did they get away with the lies??? But we are not to worry and He promises to to take care of us but so hard to keep putting all your worrying at his feet over and over! I know it is the only thing I can do but I am still human and sometimes you just want to figure out something on your own and nothing I can do on my own will fix any of my problems so it is better being placed at his feet once again and Let God take my list of problems and pray about the never ending list! And the medical, legal, financial, and food will somehow be provided for us this month ....hugs and prayers, cheryl

Wednesday...Kerry now needs neck surgery...please pray for all of us..very difficult to go through any more!

I have carried the phone with me for days waiting for he neurosurgeon to call back and ironically I was at the meat market when he called..the tears came as once again Kerry has to have surgery and this will be at least number 10 on his spine and then he still has to have another after this... The lady waiting on me was so kind and she looked at me and asked me , "Don't you live a few blocks right in town in the big green house? " I looked at her and thankful she did know who I was even though I didn't know her and she knew my family and said you have to cry and let it out....she knew Kerry also...we have to go in on Friday to see him to go over things and to set up the appointment..my heart knew it was coming but the phone call that says it is for sure just throws you still...I felt like my feet were going to give out..It is like we just come up for air and then we are zapped once again...I haven't even told him as he has been sick with the flu since Sunday and is sleeping right now...hugs, cheryl
PS..Lindsay did get the job last night and starts today after school..that is a huge God watch...Her birthday is Saturday and she turns 23...the first time we won't be together...:-( I couldn't believe how much we looked alike until this picture last week...

Please keep my daughter and husband in your prayers...hugs, cheryl

Please pray as Lindsay just got letters from her loans and she is not going to be able to afford to go to Bible College unless a miracle happens...she had to file bankruptcy from medical expenses when she got off of public aid at 18 and we could not get her on SS for 18 months..she had over 50,000 in medical expenses and now when she went for student loans they have hit her with huge fees on all of her school loans...then today her laptop crashed...she has to have that to go to class..she came home to go to a wedding this weekend and just got the letters in the mail today...please pray for us that something would work out...if anyone has a laptop please let me know..hugs, cheryl

PS Kerry went to Chicago today for his MRI of his neck...they think he has a nerve pinched in the cervical spine...it seems to never end here...my heart just goes out to Lindsay ..she just wants to go to school so bad...

Raggedy Anne and Raggedy Andy

Raggedy Anne and Raggedy Andy..our life!

Kerry and I met on a blind date in September 1980...I remember the day like yesterday as I did not want to go and I kept trying to get out of the blind date but my best friend insisted on me going. I remember on Halloween we were so in love that I made us Raggedy Anne and Raggedy Andy costumes by hand...we were so cute! Kerry asked me to marry him and I said, "Yes!" We still dated for three years as I really wanted to make sure that this is who I wanted to spend my life with. We were married and life was so good! Kerry eventually started his own house painting and cleaning business. He was Mr. Plainfield's Handyman! Everyone loved Kerry and he would do anything for people. I was working at the Bank when we had our first daughter Lindsay and I was wanting to stay home. I remember the bank asking us if we were interesting in cleaning Plainfield National Bank and it was our answer for me to be a stay at home mom! It was my dream from a little girl to be a mom and be able to stay home with my children. Kerry was able to clean at night and I would go over at 6 a.m. to finish before the bank opened. Our family grew to three beautiful girls and our lives were almost picture perfect.

Kerry decided to change careers and became a salesman for a company in Joliet and I had started a very successful craft and floral business. Kerry was so good at sales and loved working my business. We had five people working and did home parties, craft shows, and had several craft malls we were in. We were living upper middle class and loving life! We owned our Queen Anne Victorian Painted Lady Home in Downtown Plainfield and had the Village Green in our front yard for the girls to play in. Everyone looked at us and told us how fortunate we were and we even had the white picket fence in the front! On Oct. 15, 1998 our lives changed as my husband did a side job to make some extra money to buy a used car and pave our driveway. He had one hour left and I was to go down that day and help him as it was a very steep third floor dormer. Kerry was wanting to get done because he had Awana's that night so he left without me. He climbed out the window and when he was painting he slipped on the shingle pebbles and fell to his side but didn't spill the paint! He was more worried about that and not falling off the roof. He continued and finished the job and came home for dinner and left for Awana's. He never told me until the following week that he fell on the roof. That fall changed our lives as Kerry had to have surgery now and we had no idea what would happen to our perfect lives now. While Kerry was in the hospital everything that could possibly go wrong did. Kerry turned urosepsis and I was told he had a 50/50 chance of surviving. He was overdosed on morphine and the worst part was he got an infection in his surgical wound that has made his life pain 24/7 for the rest of his life!

We have had to go from upper middle class to below poverty to survive and pay medical bills. We went through 8 years of legal nightmares. Until you go through medical negligence you have no idea what can happen to your life! (We lost our case with a hung jury on Valentine's Day 2008) You cannot fix medical negligence but you have to learn to survive it! This meant I either had to quit my business and go on Public Aid or divorce Kerry. What a decision to make as a wife and a mother. I chose Public Aid and went down for the second time to sign up as you have to go through everything you own and be basically penniless to apply! I remember the day opening the door handle so well as I walked into the office in Joliet and saw the people sitting at the tables in the room waiting their turns. I felt like everyone was staring at me and I started to hyperventilate! I had no idea what that feeling was like until that day! You cannot even catch your breath....the person that was assigned to me was the most beautiful person and I still remember who so well. She hugged me and told me I am doing the right thing for my family! I thought how could this be right? I was taught that only the poor went on Public Aid and here I was applying for Public Aid! How did I go from upper middle class to poverty? It was just the beginning of the Brown Family's struggle to survive for the next 9 years. I am so glad we do not know what we have to do in life or we would honestly give up because so many days I felt like I cannot do this one more day. My girls would die of embarrassment as teens if I made them go to the local grocery store for food. I would say either you can go or go without. Sometimes they would sit in the car and fight me so bad because they had to use the CARD! I had to learn how to go to agency's that would help and be able to receive gifts of food and money. We were not taught this in life but taught to give. My mom and dad were givers all their lives and here was their daughter on the other end! I remember the First Christmas for the Needy Family Fund and I had to go and pick up the gifts. I called my mom and asked her to come with me and she hesitated but came with me. When we got there she sat in the car at first and I couldn't get her to come in. I remember wanting to scream as I was so scared but she sat and told me I have never had to receive! It was so hard for my parents to be on the other side and see their daughters family having to be needy!

This wasn't in my life plans for sure but I had to fight for our family and now we were fighting all the time to keep Kerry alive and he would fight one infection after another. He also had mental problems that made it so bad to live in our home. We were financially going under, medically no one knew what to do for Kerry and then fighting to keep life so called, "Normal!" I remember how we always planted flowers in our yard and I wasn't going to stop as this was something that we both enjoyed so I would go into the yard and let the tears run down my face as I would dig and dig. Our yard became my therapy but at the same time people could be so mean and ask how can you afford flowers? I would look at them and tell them we didn't die inside and we do not have black curtains hanging on the house! We are still alive! We are still people and want to be normal! But what was normal now? Nothing seemed normal from going to the grocery store to being on the public aid card! I would hold my head up but inside I wanted to crumble. I was also told by my church to go to the food pantry? The Food Pantry? That is for really poor people! I was now at the lowest point when I got excited over the food at the pantry! I will never forget driving home one afternoon and two of my girls were in the back seat when they started looking in the bags and were so happy! I was driving and fighting back the tears as the girls looked in the bags and pulled out Mac and Cheese telling me, "It's the real thing, Mom!" Then Jell-O and Italian dressing and they would say things like how did they know that was my favorite....do you even know how hard it is to not cry because I use to buy Real Mac and Cheese and didn't think about it! We all take things for granted daily and until our lives are shaken up and turned upside down we have no idea what life is! Our lives have not been the plan that I had, but it is one that has been blessed by so many caring people that care about us and make sure our family is taken care of year after year. hugs, cheryl