Life 101

Guess since I have been on my blog so many things in my life have changed! Now I wish I had kept writing but sometimes life just throws so many curves at you that you cannot figure out where life is going next! Kerry and I got divorced in May...very tough time for all of us! We were married for 26 years and went out for three years! Never, ever did I think this would be me six months later alone in the house of my dreams...I am doing ok and the girls have survived so much this year! I am proud of who they are and what they have been able to go through in life! I think it has made us much better people and will be forever! Kerry lives in Ottawa and yesterday got a phone call that he is looking at moving to Florida...I guess you get the pit feeling inside and I am like most people I will always care about him...I don't love him like I did when we married but caring is something deep inside and I know he is the Father to my girls...he was such an awesome dad before he fell and broke his back! Tears are running down my face as I write this...Life sure isn't what we always dreamed of but we have to keep going and I am...

Very thankful for the friends that have been there for me in the good and the bad times...I am blessed more than I ever imagined! I have met so many new friends and I am so happy to have them in my life! I have so many that would drop what they are doing to help me if I needed them...I have more than I can count on my hands...

I have about five more months in my house till I have to move out but thankful that I have had time to heal and deal with the pain, loss and emotions that go into Divorce...I have to say it is probably harder than death in a way! I now have more sympathy for those that have gone through divorce and now will be that friend to others as they have no clue what it is like! Honestly it is a pit feeling so hard to describe...but I am making it and day by day it seems to get easier! Do I still have crying days? Oh Yeah...do they last as long...No! Thankgoodness!

I have been dating and going places...I never thought this would be me...when I got seperated I honestly didn't think anyone would want to date me...well it doesn't seem to be a problem! Now I just want to find one guy to enjoy life with...Life is going by so fast and the weeks are flying by tooo fast! I am in a Divorce Group in Naperville and Singles groups...they have been amazing support! Meetups.com was a lifesavor for me! I have joined a photography group, wine tasting groups, dating groups! Who would have thought that at 49 life could be honestly good!!! Not me at least ...A year ago I would not have ever thought this is where Cheryl Brown would be at in 2010...kinda now looking forward to 2011 !!! I turn 50 in January and gonna really make a difference in others lives...I have had so many help me that now I want to return the favor! I am planning on going to Africa in May with my church! How awesome to be going to the ends of the Earth and than to be able to give back to people that have nothing! Well, I am back and ready to start sharing my new adventures...I am also being creative and enjoying making things again! Hugs, cheryl

Pray

We have sure had a medical week again..but this has been our life...everyone tells me to write a book and it sure seems like I should...my voice is going once again and I had to go to U of C yesterday to an ENT and he scoped my throat but thankfully my vocal chords are still moving and is trying medicine again to see if that will stop my choking on food and get my voice to come back strong again..I have to go back to get more tests at Loyola done now...then Kerry my husband came up to me last night at 11 pm almost in tears as he has had so many surgeries for back and pain...he has a stimulator and interthecal pump inside of him and we are not sure if he has a hernia or what so I called his doctor early this morning and had to bring him into Rush this morning and they injected it with steroids and are going to try and help his pain as he is in so much chronic pain that they have to change his meds in his pump on Monday and on Friday give him an injection into his spine for relief of foot pain..so another week of medical next week...Kerry turns 50 tomorrow and he became disabled 10 years ago...hard to believe! They never thought he would survive and he we are 10 years later but so hard to watch someone you love suffer daily and nothing you can do but watch...I really have lived the richer, poorer, sickness and in health when we married almost 25 years ago this fall...hugs, cheryl