Life and more doctors...

Today I had another appointment with the Movement Disorder Clinic...didn't even know this part of life exited...my tremors are worse and no one can tell me why? They want me to do a study for three months and I have been thinking about it since I came home..it is going to downtown Chicago once a week so it is a commitment...it is all paid for but the traveling will take a toll on me...I have to deal with all that has happened to me in the last 10 years of my life..I have to face all the things in my life that I have had to give up, my family that does not talk to me because of what my parents have done for my family to keep us in our home or have done to keep my girls going or Kerry, the husband that I do not have that use to do so much for me, my business that I gave up to take care of Kerry, the trial that we lost that all I can do is pray for the nurses and doctors that they have to live with what they said in the trial, as we have to live with what happened to Kerry and the toll it has taken on my entire life and family, our financial and medical problems that just seem to never end, all the doctors, my girls and trying to raise them the best I can, trying to keep Kerry being positive when he just wants to quit, my parents as they age, and the toll all of this has now taken on my health has hit my body so bad that they feel the tremors are from all these years of stress and more stress....then tonight when I was just laying here thinking about these years my mom emailed me this post I just put on...I haven't called my parents as they just keep telling me over and over they do not know how much longer they can keep us in our home...it has been a lot this year for me to deal with and I think I am handling it but I guess I just keep it all inside which is not good...pray I make the right choices here! I know God is in control and he has taken care of us for 10 years...we have never gone hungry and he has provided a roof over our head for all these years so I need to just put it in his hands and leave it there...hugs and prayers, cheryl